Confession.

CONFESSION –

Over the last few months, as I would read all of your wonderful stories and achievements of your little ones and your own lives on your blogs, I began to compare my lot with many of yours. Shocking, I know… but it led to lots and lots of worrying. I began getting frustrated with myself and questioning how I was doing as a mommy. Reading on a friend’s blog that her daughter (who is younger than B) was saying ma-ma and da-da and meaning it resulted in thoughts of “maybe I’m not reading enough to Brady”. Reading that a little one has learned to clap and wave, while Brady still doesn’t do any ‘tricks’, resulted in questioning whether or not I spent enough ‘training’ time with him. And don’t even get me started on the sign language thing.

I began to be overcome with worry and anxiety… even to the point of not sleeping. I began to worry that I didn’t love Brady enough because I didn’t want to sit around all day and just stare at him. I questioned how I was parenting. I questioned whether or not we were at home enough, whether we played together enough, whether he was eating all the right things, why he didn’t have teeth (because that just HAD to be my fault) and why he wasn’t reading yet. (Ok, that last one was a joke).

Anyway, the bottom line was that I was discontent. I wasn’t appreciating my little boy for who he was, and his little friends for who they were…. I was constantly comparing. Not comparing in a way that was as if I was saying “my son is better than your son” but in a way that was saying “why isn’t my son there yet”. And I was definitely not appreciating my God for HE is as a result of that constant comparing... I knew that these feelings were definitely from satan himself.

So, in my lamenting, my sweet and dear friend, Becky, challenged me to take a brief hiatus from the blog world to see if that would put things in perspective for me. (She was going to be joining me in the hiatus, but for other reasons). And I must say, God has taught me new things about my precious Little One that I never saw before, or would have probably ever seen. He showed me how to enjoy Brady in precious new ways. He revealed the sweet sense of humor that Brady has. He showed me that Brady is super independent, and likes to figure things out on his own, all the while making sure that his mommy approves. He loves books, not for me to read to him, but for him to look at – on his OWN! He showed me that Brady, too, has a sinful nature as he begins to test limits. Ultimately, God has made it clear to me that Brady is not my child, but His… a gift that has been graciously given to me for His time.

STILL ONE MORE CONFESSION –

Blogging absolutely SUCKED the life out of my day. I loved it so very much…. But there would just be chunks of my day that were simply gone. When I first starting writing after we had Brady, I had no idea that I would love ‘journaling’ our life change so much, but I did… and obviously a little too much. During B’s naptime, I would sit on the sofa, load pictures, edit pictures, write stories (trying to convey the humor that had been my day) and then Brady would wake up and absolutely nothing would have gotten done around the house. Then, when Jeff would get home, it was not a place of rest for my dear husband. It was a chaotic mess. Instead of enjoying time with him, I would be frantically running around because dishes would be in the sink, laundry would sit on the bed, unfolded of course, and I’d still be in my pajamas. This is NOT a dramatization. Blogging seriously took a place in my life that it never should have had.

With ALL of that said, I am now ready to come back to the Blogging World with a new perspective. I feel like I have a new lease on life. I’m ready to read all of your sweet stories for what they are and I am ready to share all of my stories again in all of their glory – good and bad. So enjoy the massive updates below! Thank you all for being super patient with me in this lengthy message!

Bubble Bath

Bubble Bath Pictures NEVER get old...

Mini-Miracle

Have you ever had one of those days that just didn't go the way you had planned? I did today and it was EXTREMELY frustrating.... but it was also a miracle, looking back on it.

I was at lunch with my friend, Kate, this morning and she was telling me how annoying it was that she had to take her car in to get the oil changed that morning. I was sympathizing with her, as I was needing to get my car looked at because I had this 'check engine' light on AND it needed an oil change. She told me that I needed to get it in soon, because something could really be wrong. This just shows you how I deal with problems... IGNORE them and hope that they go away! Just ask Jeff, he hates it.... I ignore stuff and ignore stuff and then it builds up to be a huge blow up when all of it finally comes out.

Well, as I was leaving lunch, I got to thinking... since my mom had B. that day, I should probably go get the oil changed and just have them tell me what was wrong (and more importantly, how much it was) and how long it would take to fix it. Praise the Lord that I took it in when I did. There were so many things wrong with it, I can't even list them here, but the main thing was my tire. Some sort of 'rock shield' that covers the bottom of my engine had come off (or had never been put back on at my last oil change) and somehow, some part of my engine had started rubbing against the inside of my tire... wearing a strip of it down to the INTERIOR WIRE of the tire! (See picture below). The sweet men at the Driver's Edge in Plano (go see them!) told me that I was seriously a few miles from having a major blow out - and possibly a head on collision. (If you've ever seen a car having a blow out, it's awfully scary to watch, let alone be in the car having one - and WITH A CHILD!!) When they showed this to me, tears seriously started coming out. I couldn't help it. (Kate likes to think she was my angel that day!! :) ) They told me not to worry about anything else, but to go around the corner to discount tire. Thank goodness I didn't even have to leave the parking lot to get there!

So of course, I had to buy a whole new tire at Discount Tire. Then, when they were changing that tire, they found a nail in my other tire - in an IRREPARABLE spot! :) Yup, when it rains it pours.

I'm so thankful that randomly, I decided today was the day to go in.... but I know it wasn't really random.

The Sun Has Come Out!

After a long week of the weather being a rainy, depressing mess.... the sun finally came out today and it was beautiful. We took Brady to the park in the wagon to swing, but it was so crowded, we needed to explore some new things to play on while we waited!

The Bug Goes to Work

I dropped B. off with Jeff at his office one night this week, and Jeff wasn't quite ready to leave so he took Brady with him to finish up. Here is the result:

Sugar Rush!

Saturday, Jeff so graciously woke up early and took care of the Little Man for me so I could sleep in. I was feeling a bit under the weather, and ended up getting diagnosed with Bronchitis! Ugh!! (Days 3-4 were the WORST!!)

Jeff took Brady out to Krispy Kreme for some Daddy Time. Apparently, Krispy Kreme was full of dads and their kids "all hopped up on sugar". I picture kids screaming and running around with balloons and hats everywhere! Brady got his own taste of a donut hole... Jeff said he didn't like it so much!

He sure looked cute in his Krispy Kreme Hat!