Clarification.

I've had a heavy heart about my post from yesterday, in fact I couldn't sleep well last night because I was so burdened by it. I've received several sweet comments from you all, and although I so appreciate them, I will keep them private... so don't think that I'm ignoring them. It's just that I'm afraid the post came off as "look at me" and that is NOT what I meant to say at all. I simply wanted to share this testimony to God's faithfulness to both Jeff and I during this short season of life that we've gone through. I wanted to record God's mercy for Jeff and I (and Brady) to look back on for years to come.

For right now though, I'm so anxious for 5:00 to get here. I can't describe the tears that keep coming this morning. They are a mix of joy, relief, sorrow for what my husband has been put through and thankfulness. I can't stop them even now. Maybe I've been holding it in for so long, that I feel like it's a good time to let it all go.

I don't believe in coincidences and this morning, on my way to work, I had a HEAVY heart for my dear husband as he endures this last day. I can't remember the last time my heart has hurt for him. I was desperately praying not only that the Lord would lift his burden this morning as he thinks through the questions, but that He would graciously lift the burden from my heart as well. I all of a sudden realized what song was on my radio. (I have to preface this by saying that God completely ministers to me through music in a very real way). I usually listen to the CD that is in my #2 slot. But somehow, unbeknown st to me, I'd played my music (without noticing it) all the way to the third track on my #6 CD by the time I turned the volume up. It was the hymn "Draw Me Ever Nearer" sung by Kristyn Getty. I wish I could load it on here for you to here, but for now the words will have to suffice. As I sung this prayer to the Lord this morning, I felt such a peace that only He could bring. I hope these words bring a peace to each and every one of your hearts this morning as well.

Jesus draw me ever nearer
As I labour through the storm.
You have called me to this passage,
and I'll follow, though I'm worn.

May this journey bring a blessing,
May I rise on wings of faith;
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness let me wake.

Jesus guide me through the tempest;
Keep my spirit staid and sure.
When the midnight meets the morning,
Let me love You even more.

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go -
And at the end of this long passage,
Let me leave them at Your throne.