The Waiting Game

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." (Phillippians 4:6-9, The Message)

In case you have had better things to do over the last two months than counting down the days until May 1 like we have, allow me to let you in on what's about to happen. We're expecting the release of the Bar results in the next 36 or so hours. 'Whoop-dee-do' you may be thinking, but for us, this is the day we've been striving toward for the last four years. Ever since we've been married (and probably before that, even) we've been longing for this day to arrive: the day that we're able to finally put this behind us and 'move forward' as Jeff and I like to say.

So at the onset of this particular day, I decided that I wanted to write down all the words that Jeff and I've been speaking to each other throughout the week, before we receive the news. I wanted to write it down so if the news is great or not so great, I'm reminded of Who allowed it to be that way... and His faithfulness, regardless of our circumstances.

I read sometime ago in a Beth Moore book, I'm not sure which one, where she said, "God was faithful yesterday, He will not be unfaithful today." Isn't that so true of our lives? I've realized the beauty of getting 'older', as I am now truly able to reflect on past circumstances in my life where I probably thought "Lord, what the heck are you doing here? My heart is breaking, stop the hurt!" but now on the other side I see God's soveregn hand and how much He was protecting me from by allowing those hurts into my life. I could have certainly chosen to see that as unfaithfulness... but He had (and doesn't He always) better things for me than I could see in my comparably insignificant view.

All this to say, that as I was praying over Jeff last night (and no, that's not a nightly occurence or anything), I prayed that whatever the results are, we would accept them as sovereign. That we would realize that God can see further down the road than we can and His hand is in this - as long as we allow it to be. Sure, we may be tremendously excited this afternoon or tomorrow or we just might be seriously disappointed... either way He has been faithful... even when we aren't.

When Becky sent me the above verse this morning, I felt compelled for some reason to look it up in The Message translation. Boy, did this so hit home with me. 'God's wholeness' is real, is it not? He does promise everything for HIS glory, does He not? And don't you love the part about God working us "into His most excellent harmonies?" I want Jeff and I to be worked into His most excellent harmonies, don't you want the same? I want Him to do with us, whatever He wants... even if it means hardship in the moment... and I want us to have the attitude of acceptance, not question His intent... because of He has been faithful.

So, if you think to pray for us this afternoon and tomorrow... we don't want you to pray that Jeff passed the Bar (although it would be tremendous if he does), but that we would accept the results graciously and honorably... like Christ would have accepted them. I must say that regardless of the results, I could not be prouder of my husband and the hard work he put in over the last four years of his life... and I would not be happier for him than for him to reap the fruit from his labor. But more than that, I'm proud of his perspective on this and the way he's changed my perspective and calmed my anxious heart.

We shall keep everyone posted.