Thursday, June 03, 2010

marriage: part one.

well, five years ago around this time {7 a.m.}, i was probably soaking in a hot bubble bath trying to shake off the 2 or 3 tylenol pm i had taken the night before {that didn't work}. it was our wedding day! a day that we had both waited for since our very first date 6 1/2 years earlier. it was a perfect day, and i look back on it with great joy and fondness. really, i do.

but, as we so often do as girls, we get so caught up in the wedding - in the 'i'm getting married!!' aspect of it all, that we forget about the actual marriage. i, of course, did not think that i fell into that category. i, of course 'just wanted to be married' to the love of my life. but, single ladies out there, marriage is not all rose petals and love notes. in fact, not to throw my sweet hubbs under the bus, but that's more of the exception and not the rule in marriage.

i found this video in my closet yesterday of our first dance that a friend from work gave me. it's part uber-romantic and part super-embarrassing. {i mean, c'mon, people: get a room, please!!!} the thing is though, although this makes me smile and feeling ooey-gooey-mushy inside, i can honestly say that i wouldn't trade that 'feeling' for what we have now for any amount of money or any promise that anyone could make me. feelings fade. oh yes, they come and go and there are days, weeks at a time, even, that we look at each other like we did that night, or leave sweet love notes or jeff brings me random flowers from work - just because he loves me. but what lasts, is the kind of love that has been in the trenches... that's been tried and tested.

the kind of love that has grown in the five years that it's known marriage - the kind that has nursed someone back to health when they'd rather be sleeping. the kind that grows to make an attempt to apologize first {even when they may not be the ones to blame}. the kind that sacrifices, that silently respects the other's opinion with a squeeze of the hand. the kind that laughs at jokes that aren't funny, that stays up into the night to work out a miscommunication that will later be long forgotten and insignificant. the kind that makes midnight slurpee runs with a smile on their face.

yes ma'am, i would much rather have this deep, unconditional, true love than that giggly, 'mad about you' kind. because so often, those 'mad about you feelings' creep up unexpectedly. when j's giving brady a bath or when he quietly folds the laundry for me. when he plans a romantic date or when he rents a movie to watch at home. yes, those feelings may be fleeting, but every time they do come around, they're stronger and more intense than the time before. that is what i think marriage is about.

so - for those who think they can stomach it: here's the video clips of our first dance. could we be dancing any slower? or closer?

p.s. i love that jeff high-fives his groomsmen when we get on the dance floor.
our poor parents.

1 comment:

Jeff and Steph said...

Congrats! We celebrated our 5 year anniversary today! So many similarities. :)